All He's Ever Been Is Kind

The first time I heard the song "Kind" by Cory Asbury I was drawn to it. This song is not your typical Christian song. It's pretty raw and truthful.

The first verse begins like this:

Sometimes marriages don't work, and sometimes babies die

Sometimes rehab turns to relapse and you're left just askin' why

And for all the prayers I've prayed, I still wonder if He's real.

And if He is, how is He choosin' who He does and doesn't heal?

How many times have you questioned God and wondered something along the lines of these lyrics? Maybe you didn't know that you could question God and ask questions like these. Or perhaps you do question and now are very confused about God and religion.

I remember when going through some tough stuff like this and wrestling with God through it. Some good intentioned friends said things like, "God will work it out all out" or "He won't give you more than you can handle". Honestly, I don't think any of those cliches are very helpful when going through something tough. Will God work it out? Possibly, but maybe not the way I want Him to. Will God give me more than I can handle? For sure, because there is no way I could carry all that has been passed my way. Knowing God's character I wouldn't say He caused my pain.

When sitting with people in our Freedom ministry, I notice many similarities in their stories as well. All these people have been through some really tough stuff in their lives. They've been told God is kind, but sometimes they can't quite see it. Some of them have experienced His kindness, but still wrestle with some of these thoughts. We believe that God is good and since God is good, there must be a purpose that we don't understand behind it and we just need to flat out accept it. My question to you is are we really doing anyone any good by just accepting the hard as "good in the making" and not wrestling with our own feelings about it? What are we afraid of?

My challenge to you is to bring the hard questions to God. In our freedom ministry, we go through a forgiveness process, which honestly can be the turning point for many of our guests. While we know God doesn't do anything wrong, many of us have built up resentment to Him. When we can truly be honest and see where God disappointed us and wrestle with Him through it, we have a chance at finding true freedom. God can handle our true feelings. And when we are honest with ourselves and God, we'll find that even in our hurt and our anger, He is kind.

The chorus to Cory Asbury's song "Kind" goes on like this:

I've tried to run from Jesus, I've started holy wars.

I've tried the patient waitin' and the kickin' down the doors.

I've cursed His name in anger with my fist raised to the sky.

And in return, all He's ever been is kind

This reminds me of when my child was going through a life threatening mental health crisis. I had done all the things. I prayed fervently, tried my best to be there for this child, and got all the resources possible. I knew God's promises and His goodness, but began to question why He would allow all this to happen. Finally, I had enough. I couldn't be patient or strong anymore. I couldn't reason away this crisis. I broke down and all my thoughts and feeling came out as a cry out to God. I told Him how I really felt about it and questioned why He wouldn't answer my prayers. What I got in return was His kindness. After I let out all my feelings and my sobbing slowed, I could feel His presence surround me. I knew He was weeping with me. It grieved Him as much as it was grieving me. In His kindness he comforted me.

The Bridge to this songs puts it all together:

And I know I wasn't there.

But when I look up at the cross.

I see the darkest day in history

I guess that's what kindness cost

In His kindness He is weeping with me. He knows what it feels like to go through pain because He has been there. He came in human flesh as Jesus and felt all the human emotions we all feel. Even Jesus cried out to the Father to take away His pain in the Garden of Gethsemane. (Matt. 26:36-45). If Jesus can be honest about the pain and how He feels, certainly we should do that as well. Furthermore, it was in His kindness that He did go to the cross for us.

If this resonates with you, take some time to examine your heart and be honest with yourself and God. Where in your life do you question God's goodness? Bring it to Him, and allow yourself to feel all the emotion of it. Sit in the space with Him and invite the Holy Spirit in. Experience His kindness. If nothing comes to mind, perhaps what you can take away from this song is how you can show God's kindness to someone who is going through something tough.

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